a black squirrel, for your grainy enjoyment
Rob is a commercial saturation diver for Global Divers in Louisiana .
He performs underwater repairs on offshore drilling rigs.Below is an E-mail he sent to his sister. She then sent it to radio
station 103.2 on FM dial in Ft. Wayne, Indiana , who was sponsoring a
worst job experience contest. Needless to say, she won.~~Hi Sue,
Just another note from your bottom-dwelling brother. Last week I had
a bad day at the office. I know you've been feeling down lately at
work, so I thought I would share my dilemma with you to make you
realize it's not so bad after all . Before I can tell you what
happened to me, I first must bore you with
a few technicalities of my job. As you know, my office lies at the
bottom of the sea. I wear a suit
to the office. It's a wet suit. This time of year the water is quite
cool. So what we do to keep warm is this: We have a diesel powered
industrial water heater. This $20,000 piece of equipment sucks the
water out of the sea. It heats it to a delightful temperature. It
then pumps it down to the diver through a garden hose, which is taped
to the air hose. Now this sounds like a darn good plan, and I've
used it several times with no complaints. What I do, when I get to the
bottom and start working, is take the hose and stuff it down the back
of my wet suit. This floods my whole suit with warm water. It's like
working in a Jacuzzi.Everything was going well until all of a sudden, my butt started to
itch. So, of course, I scratched it. This only made things worse.
Within a few seconds my ass started to burn. I pulled the hose out
from my back, but the damage was done. In agony I realized what had
happened. The hot water machine had sucked up a jellyfish and pumped
it into my suit. Now, since I don't have any hair on my back, the
jellyfish couldn't stick to it, however, the crack of my ass was not
as fortunate. When I scratched what I thought was an itch, I was
actually grinding the jellyfish into the crack of my ass.I informed the dive supervisor of my dilemma over the communicator.
His instructions were unclear due to the fact that he, along with five
other divers, were all laughing hysterically. Needless to say I
aborted the dive. I was instructed to make three agonizing in-water
decompression stops totaling thirty-five minutes before I could reach
the surface ce to begin my chamber dry decompression. When I arrived at
the surface, I was wearing nothing but my brass helmet.As I climbed out of the water, the medic, with tears of laughter
running down his face, handed me a tube of cream and told me to rub it
on my butt as soon as I got in the chamber. The cream put the fire
out, but I couldn't shit for two days because my ass was swollen shut.So, next time you're having a bad day at work, think about how much
worse it would be if you had a jellyfish shoved up your ass.
Now repeat to yourself, 'I love my job, I love my job, I love my job.'
Whenever you have a bad day, ask yourself, is this a jellyfish bad day?May you NEVER have a jellyfish bad day!!!!!
We all knew the day would come, but it's still pretty damn sad.
Show us something special/unique about your Sunday.
My bestest friend, Anita, called me last night to say she will be in town for a few days next month. I'm so happy because I miss her terribly and haven't seen her for over a year (I think). Yet, I'm still feeling bummed, which started late yesterday afternoon and I can't shake it. Bleah.
